You Know What You Did, Don’t You?

Tape 1: Side B – Jessica Davis

I would argue that the first 3 tapes had negative mental effects on Hannah because each of the first 3 tapes represented an aspect of something that she needed from other human beings but instead experienced rejection in the worst way. Justin’s tape represented Hannah wanting a close connection with someone in a relationship… but that made Hannah not trust relationships anymore (I will discuss that further on later tapes). The next tape represented Hannah wanting to build friendships with people that could understand her… but that ended with pettiness and betrayals (I will discuss that further on the next tape). This tape with Jessica represented a sisterhood bond that Hannah wanted and really needed… but Hannah ends up realizing that the greatest heartbreaks and pains are inflicted on the ones that you thought understood you the most but in reality they never really understood you at all.

To sum up this tape: Jessica Davis was a new student just like Hannah was and the then guidance counselor decided to pair them up so they both could have a buddy and not feel alone being a newbie. To both surprised it work and Hannah and Jessica did become close buddies. Through their friendship they met another new student name Alex Standall and the three decided to become the “Fuck My Life” Crew that would hang out together at the local coffee shop a lot. Over time Alex and Jessica became close and got in a relationship leaving Hannah as a 3rd wheel but she accepted it. Alex and Jessica eventually had a falling out and broke up the relationship. Jessica wrongly blamed Hannah for her relationship failure due to Hannah’s “slut” reputation and mainly due to Alex’s “Hot or Not” List (I will go into further details on the next entry). Jessica angrily slapped Hannah in her face leaving a permanent scar and thus permanently ending their friendship.

Now just like how I said on the previous entry on how I had 2 opinions of Justin and will explain one opinion now and another opinion on a later entry… with Jessica I will do the same. My opinion of this tape this that Jessica was what Hannah wanted to be: a new student that was able to get along with other students, have a successful relationship and be invited to hang with a group of friends that accepted her. If you pay close attention they low-key were similar in a lot of ways: both were new students, both thought the other was more beautiful, both were originally close with Alex, both dated Justin, and ironically both had a traumatic experience with Bryce Walker (more about him on a later entry). I want to say that Jessica could have been the perfect friend replacement for Hannah to fill in the void that Kat left when she moved away. If it wasn’t for something stupid that drove a wedge between the two it’s quite possible that Hannah and Jessica could have been the best of friends,

I don’t think Jessica is a mean person, I think Jessica was a victim of manipulation and emotions in which she wrongly took out her anger on Hannah. I felt like Jessica decided to “go with the wave instead of fighting against the grain” when she blamed Hannah.She really didn’t ask Hannah her side of the story which is weird since at one point they were both on the same page but as Hannah rightfully pointed out “Jessica needed someone to blame” and with Hannah’s bad rep it was easy to shift the blame on her rather than to seek the truth. So I guess my overall opinion of Jessica on this tape is that no matter how well you expect a person to know you that same person can treat you like a stranger and discard for in a moment’s notice. Even though Hannah and Jessica were on par with each other they both ended up going separate opposite ways in life. Makes you want to scream olly olly oxen free… but instead I’ll say fuck my life.

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